The Power of Words

by Marvin Mitchell

I remember sitting in trial for both first degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder, as the DA played my music for the jury. All of a sudden, the words that I was once so proud of and confident in had new meaning. Every curse word pierced my ears like lyrical gunfire, as I watched the jury stare at me with shock and disbelief written all over their faces. That day changed the way I heard music and the way I saw the power of words. To be the sole cause of my own demise was an experience I could never fathom, let alone forget. What I learned that day was that what you say can make you just as guilty as what you do. After fully understanding this experience, I could never in good conscience tell someone, as Joe Loya* put it, “to commit murder on the page.” Don’t get me wrong, I understand Loya’s unconventional strategy that was born out of abnormal circumstances, such as a prison cell. However I cannot see where it would be wise to encourage a person, let alone a felon, to express him/herself in a manner that could quite possibly incriminate them.

First of all let me say that I believe in freedom of speech. I believe
that a person should be able to say exactly what’s on his/her mind. But
to suggest that these so-called “dark journal writings” are somehow a
good thing is where Joe Loya and I differ. My argument is simple: I was directly affected by words I had written for my album. Again, the DA played my album at the beginning of the trial, but I knew by the look on the faces of the jury members that I had already been convicted by them for the songs I had written, and not the facts of the case itself. So when Loya suggests that we encourage our youth to write down their negative thoughts, it troubles me. It’s important that we encourage our youth to think positive in all situations. To suggest that it’s ok to be anything but is creating a lack of confidence in our young people to grow as positive thinking adults. But for the sake of argument, let’s say that dark writings are a legitimate way of overcoming stress and just overall healthy way of expressing ourselves. Still, wouldn’t one want to take into consideration the status of youth that you introduce this form of expression to? One’s criminal history can certainly limit one’s freedom of speech. Let’s take a felon for instance. Would it be smart to encourage a young person who is already on parole or probation to have this kind of material lying
around where the police could discover them, the way they did in Dalton’s case? What about a person who has a history of mental illness? Do we encourage that person to “commit murder on the page”? How could this be responsible? Even though kids indulge in negative writings, it’s often because no one is challenging them to do anything different. When we condone negativity on any level, we kill the prospect of hope. It’s like saying go ahead and be negative because the world is corrupt anyway.

In my situation, my first amendment right was truly violated. It was
illegal to use my album as evidence in court. But the truth stands that
the things I rapped about are what I really believed in. And how can a
man truly be separated from his thoughts? Our experience as human
beings tells us that even our most animated, fictional thoughts lend to
our character. I would bet that Stephen King was a child who had a lot
of interesting thoughts, which ultimately led to the way he creates his
characters and movies. Loya writes: “I hated my life behind bars, hated how I was treated, and that hate poured into letters I wrote.” He proves my point here, that it’s not always healthy to write down what you feel, when you are angry. Are we supposed to revisit these journals later after we have calmed down, or just throw them away? That is a question that I would like to ask Loya. If we should revisit them, then what good can come from being reminded of such brutal negativity? And if we should throw them away, what’s the use in writing them in the first place? While I think it’s good to acknowledge all of our emotions, it can be dangerous to dwell in negative emotions.

In closing I would like to make clear that I do understand the intentions of these writings and I don’t judge whoever chooses to write these kinds of journals. My only hope is that we recognize in our young people their need for positive affirmation and the kind of support that will motivate them to see themselves as not only master of their own lives but also people who can take negative situations and come to positive conclusions. At the end of the day, if these journals don’t make us better humans, then it’s really not therapy and so it’s really of no good use. Again, I’m in prison for the things I wrote. And what I wrote was powerful enough for a judge and a DA to want to use it against me. With words like, “one shot from the thang to the main vein left his blood stain with his gang name written on the wall,” or “I leave ‘em spineless, mindless, left hanging on the corner with his pockets on a minus, try to find this blind his folks with the chrome nine then I blow smoke out my sinus,” it’s no wonder why they used my album against me. Why would a sane person write something like that, entertainment or otherwise? Now do my words by themselves make me a murderer? In theory no, but what will a jury say? As you can see, my words had murder written all over them. Do I now
ask a kid, already in the system, to go ahead and kill the world on paper, thus potentially killing him/herself in the process? No, because if any negative act follows, people will say the journal was a cry for help or a warning sign that nobody cared to listen to. In that case, they will even start to ask who encouraged these kinds of writings.

*Editors' note: This essay responds in part to "In Defense of Dark Journal Writings" by Joe Loya, an editorial originally published in the Los Angeles Times. Loya's editorial, which defends the right to write violent or pornographic material, was prompted by the case of Brian Dalton, an Ohio man who received a 10-year prison sentence for
writing a story in which children were molested and tortured.